Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Running Sucks

I have been on a mission to get back into shape for hockey, and the evil masochist in me said "start running again--it's the fastest way to get lung capacity back up." What the little leather-clad angel forgot to mention, however, was "it's also the fastest route to feeling like someone has taken a drill to your heels and a sledgehammer to your ankles and knees." I feel like someone has driven strategically placed nails into my feet.

I have been running (actually, let's be honest here--walking and jogging) for 2 weeks now. It is hell. Now I remember why I HATED THIS SHIT in gym class--which, of course, was 20 years ago when my bones weren't made of dust and my muscles weren't completely atrophied.

Today I looked like a complete geriatric on Stevens Creek Trail. I could only lift my feet about 1/2 an inch off the ground, and that was possibly only by shaking my ass like I was in a Sir Mixalot video [ becky. look at how crippled she is]. My age loomed ominously before me as I realized that my lungs had outpaced my legs.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but running actually hurts worse than hockey. Hockey, which produced bruises that led my sister to comment that I looked like a battered wife. Possibly the cure is worse than the ailment, here?


JJFad said...

You sound like the perfect running partner for me. Slow and steady wins the race!!

Unknown said...

Oh it's not that bad. If a 78 year old nun can run a marathon you can schlep a couple of miles. Switch to a bike, it's better training for hockey.

margie said...

Sympathy pains reading this. Running sucks.