Thursday, March 27, 2008
Where the Sidewalk Ends
Starbucks finally opened up in Crescent City, where Meg lives. Seems like maybe the last place on earth to get an SBUX? Well, now you know why.
Friday, March 21, 2008
How to Stop the Examiner
Finally! Contact information to stop the Examiner from trespassing on your property with their unread crap landfill fodder:
866-733-7323
circulation@examiner.com
The only good thing about having these goddamn papers cluttering up the sidewalks is that you can use them for emergency dog shit receptacles. I'll just have to carry more blue plastic bags now (thanks, Supes).
866-733-7323
circulation@examiner.com
The only good thing about having these goddamn papers cluttering up the sidewalks is that you can use them for emergency dog shit receptacles. I'll just have to carry more blue plastic bags now (thanks, Supes).
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Moooovin. . . onto the Interweb
I know everyone hates those Star 101 billboards, but my best friend Julie Gahan is guest-starring on the waayyyy better 99.7 website.
You know 99.7--they play the shit we used to dance to at our Burlingame bars back in the day (by which I mean the 90's). Well, Julie is living proof that people do win radio contests, and get free food and DJ meet and greets. Yay Julie!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
MY KID WON'T BEHAVE LIKE THAT (another lie I tell myself)
I am terrified that I am going to raise a monster child. Despite the fact that I was not a bad kid, neither was my husband, neither were our siblings. . .I see them all around me and I can't help but think it could be inevitable in this modern era. Maybe it's in the water, like ADD and autism. Perhaps brattiness is linked to vaccinations or plastic leaching into water bottles. Maybe Nolan's age group will be known as "Generation B."
Yesterday I was at McDonald's for lunch (in my defense, I had a hangover). Now, this is the McDonald's on Haight and Stanyan, which is usually populated by equal parts tourists and drug addicts. Yesterday, though, it was weirdly full of local old people. One of them had a little gaggle of grandchildren with her. They were seated at the table next to me. They were noisy and running around, but whatevs--they're kids, it's fine.
Well, it's fine up to a point. For me, that would be when the oldest, AIDAN AIDAN AIDAN, who appeared to be about 7, started climbing up on the chair at my table. And yelling. And climbing. And thrashing around like a little epileptic. Grandma was trying to corral this kid by telling him AIDAN AIDAN AIDAN NO AIDAN but I guess AIDAN AIDAN had trouble hearing her over the sound of his little shoes kicking my table. So, being hungover, I turned and gave him the hairy eyeball. To no one's surpise, AIDAN AIDAN AIDAN gave it right back.
Poor Grandma was trying to get the kids out of the restaurant. AIDAN AIDAN's two siblings were just as terrifying. . .a boy and girl, with big bro dangling a toy that little sis was trying to catch with her mouth. On the floor. Of the McDs. Where all the drug addicts hang out.
If God is reading this blog, he is no doubt poised to aim a thunderbolt of hyperactivity at my kid, turning NOLAN NOLAN NOLAN into a spastic short bus paste-eater because of Mommy's bad taste in blogging shit about other children. This is, after all, the kid who pulled a fistful of his own hair and made himself cry. But I'm sure other parents have this fear, right? Or is everyone else just more self-assured about their ability to instill good behavior and moral character in their kids? Or maybe they just beat their kids. [Clong: KIDDING! Don't call CPS on me].
Yesterday I was at McDonald's for lunch (in my defense, I had a hangover). Now, this is the McDonald's on Haight and Stanyan, which is usually populated by equal parts tourists and drug addicts. Yesterday, though, it was weirdly full of local old people. One of them had a little gaggle of grandchildren with her. They were seated at the table next to me. They were noisy and running around, but whatevs--they're kids, it's fine.
Well, it's fine up to a point. For me, that would be when the oldest, AIDAN AIDAN AIDAN, who appeared to be about 7, started climbing up on the chair at my table. And yelling. And climbing. And thrashing around like a little epileptic. Grandma was trying to corral this kid by telling him AIDAN AIDAN AIDAN NO AIDAN but I guess AIDAN AIDAN had trouble hearing her over the sound of his little shoes kicking my table. So, being hungover, I turned and gave him the hairy eyeball. To no one's surpise, AIDAN AIDAN AIDAN gave it right back.
Poor Grandma was trying to get the kids out of the restaurant. AIDAN AIDAN's two siblings were just as terrifying. . .a boy and girl, with big bro dangling a toy that little sis was trying to catch with her mouth. On the floor. Of the McDs. Where all the drug addicts hang out.
If God is reading this blog, he is no doubt poised to aim a thunderbolt of hyperactivity at my kid, turning NOLAN NOLAN NOLAN into a spastic short bus paste-eater because of Mommy's bad taste in blogging shit about other children. This is, after all, the kid who pulled a fistful of his own hair and made himself cry. But I'm sure other parents have this fear, right? Or is everyone else just more self-assured about their ability to instill good behavior and moral character in their kids? Or maybe they just beat their kids. [Clong: KIDDING! Don't call CPS on me].
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Nolan's Internet Debut
Nolan had his first blog mention today on HugPug (we can't count bragging parent blogs). Not bad for a 10-week old. We predict plenty of internet fame for the child of a web producer and a software engineer. Check it out for cute pictures of his new best friends, the Justia Pugs.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Log Cabin Fresh!
People keep telling me to turn this into a Mommy Blog. Dude, I hate Mommy Blogs. Even though I've never read one. But I'm not above sharing the f'ed up parts of parenting so you can laugh at my misery. Isn't that what blogging is all about, after all??
Let's start with a little something in the TMI category: Fenugreek. I have started taking this herbal supplement to increase breast milk production. That's right--Old Bessie needs to step up her game to keep up with the small hungry monster. (Seriously, this kid is off the charts with the eating. The doctor tells me he is trying to "catch up" since he was born small. Hey doc, isn't there an obesity epidemic in this country?? Anyway.)
While it appears to be working (MOOOOOO), it is not without side effects. The big one being. . .it makes me smell like maple syrup. Yah. Maple SYRUP. Revolting. I guess it is better than the other possibility--"a faint curry smell"--mentioned by one website. GAG!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
